Icecream Truck Phobia

<It was the noise that brought us out>, yes that sound of the ice-cream truck – the wonderful jingling (of a rather pathetic melody) that people were drawn out of their houses, <an angry waiter> ran down the street and announced he would get the health department to close them down because the noise had permanent psychological problems attached – somehow this had been proven. <Pleasure> well… yes this sound does cause pleasure, but scientists think people go crazy if they don’t hear the jingle of an ice-cream truck every year or so.  So this sounds crazy, “<sure anything you say>”, well I know it sounds weird, but it’s true, psychologists have been working on this bizarre theory for a very long time.  <The taste of vinegar> helps people overcome the phobia – which happens when people believe that all the trucks have blown up and they won’t be able to have ice-cream ever again.  Don’t whatever you do, mix the vinegar with salt.  1 – it tastes disgusting & 2 – it’s a cleaning tool – used for cleaning carpet… I’m sure it’s not good for your insides.  A <Masseur> may not be able to help, as they can only help you if you have a sore back, shoulders or a such, they probably would have a panic attack if you turned up.  They’d say “<you’re kidding aren’t you?>”   “Not another person who’s a little crazy!”  They’d then ring an ambulance to take you to the emergency ward.  Yes, this probably wouldn’t help you much either, so whatever you do, don’t mix vinegar and salt together and use it as a cure for your rather strange phobia.  That is the moral of this story.